in ultima vreme nu m
TRANSCRIPT
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In ultima vreme nu m-am gandit decat la imaginatia. La modul in care ea
functioneaza si-n felul in care ma inuenteaza. De regula imi imaginez lucruri
plaCuta, care sa ma incalzeasca sueteste si sa-mi ofere o dispozitie buna. Dar oare
pot face asta numai daca gandesc pozitiv?
Ce-ar sa-mi schimb ideile, sa-mi infectez imaginatia cu cele mai bolnave lucruri la
care m-as putea gandi. a ma trezesc dintr-o data intr-un spatiu gol, fara altedecoruri, cu o mica nuanta galbuie care sa inspire ceva macabru. Iar in fata mea,
ceva mai mult de atat.
!rasc unii oameni. "ersoane care merita #upuite pana la moarte pentru
dezgustatoarea lor e$istenta in societate. %m cativa si cateva pe lista. Ce-ar sa
aleg pe cineva, iar acel cineva sa apara $ in fata mea, gol, nemiscat, in principiu
fara suare. Deci de#a vorbim de un mort. ensibilii ar spune ca am a#uns de#a prea
departe. Dar tocmai am spus ca vreau sa u bolnav, cu capul, evident. &u ma voi
opri la o simpla atrocitate.
'oi patrunde si mai mult. Chiar la propriu. a ma apropii de pielea invidividului si sa
o strang cu atata sete de a strivi pana la pierderea propriului meu simt tactil. &ustiu cati dintre voi cunosc senzatia in care strangi atat de tare de un membru pana
cand durerea te copleseste. Insa de data aceasta vom rupe aceste bariere. 'om
sfasia pielea pana cand vom a#unge catre minunatele organe, ca si cum am folosit
un bisturiu. Din nou, nu ne vom opri. &e vom lepada de orice farama de moralitate
si demnitate atat pentru persoana noastra, cat si pentru victima din fata noastra,
adaugand un strop de moleseala. pre e$emplu, acel moment cand plimbi lingura
prin supa. %sa vom face si noi. &e vom plimba #ucausa mana printer toate organelle
lui(ei, fara a mai tine seama de altceva.
Interesant fenomen, caci eu de#a simt cum emotia mi-este pompata cu putere prin
tot corpul. %s continua cu multe altele, insa ma plictisesc repede de lucruri. Cred c-osa ma duc sa-mi fac un sandiv. Cate roluri poate #uca scumpa noastra imaginatie. )a
imi ofera totul pe tava, pentru ca eu as prea las ca sa-mi procur ceea ce vreau in
realitate. au poate ca de fapt nu sunt dement.
Latel*, I+ve been continuousl* thining about imagination. %bout ho it e$actl*
functions and the a* e get inuenced b*. I usuall* prefer to imagine pleasant
things, so that I could gain some spiritual armth, hich of course ould oer me a
#o*ful mood. /ut am I alloed to do this onl* hen thining positivel*?
0hat if I had changed m* ideas, hat if I had alread* infected m* imagination ith
the sicest thoughts I ould have ever got. I ould suddenl* ae up in a blan
space, no muddle an no other decorations, but a pale beige touch hich ould
inspire something even more o beat. %nd #ust in front of me, of course, something
greater than that.
I have to admit, I hate some people. "ersons hich onl* deserve to be a*ed till
death for their desgusting e$istence. I do have some of them on m* list. 0hat if I
had to choose somebod*, and that one ould simpl* appear right in front of me,
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naed, motionless, ithout having him to yelp or to give an* shriek. 0e are
alread* taling about a dead person. 1he ticlish ones ould alread* scowl, telling
me that I got too far. /ut I alread* accepted m* madness. 1his is #ust the beginning
of a small atrocit* and I ill not stop there.
Let+s not eep this too elongated and go even deeper, and properl*. Let us
approach the fello+s sin and tear it apart ith the most poerful thirst ofs2uashing, ithout being to rash, so that e ould slol* stat losing our on
haptic sense. I don+t no ho man* of *ou no the sensation of putting forth one
of *our limbs until pain gets overhelming. /ut this time e are going to brea the
limits. 0e ill tear the sin apart until e ill meet the marvelous organs, as if e
had used a simple lancet. 0e are not alloed to feel tedious an* more. 0e ill
renounce(abandon an* piece of moralit* and demnit* for both us and our victim,
hen nall* adding a drop of languor. %s a short e$ample, an*one nos the
moment hen *ou pla* around ith the spoon in the soup. 1hat+s e$actl* hat e
are going to do, but in a jeering manner. 0e ill pla* ith our hand through all of
his organs, ithout taing heed of an*thing else.
Indeed, that+s an fascinating phenomenom, because I alread* feel for m*self ho all
these emotions are being pumped ith such a ferocious force throughout m* bod*. I
ouldn+t be able to properl* tal in such moment, #ust groping. I onder if m* sill*
simper can be considered human. Imagination can reall* oer me ever*thing,
especiall* hen I+m too pier to procure those things m*self. 3r ma*be I+m not that
insane.