Iubirea

Definitii ☺

� Atitudine: predispozitia de a gandi, simti si a ne

comporta in maniera pozitiva fata de alta persoana(Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986)

� Emotie: emotie singulara sau relatie sociala care implica

o serie de emotii? (Lazarus, 1991)

AtasamentulJohn Bowlby (1969/1982): sistem

comportamental innascut, activat de

pericole, care duce la formarea unor

relatii de atasament cu persoane familiare care ofera

confort si protectieconfort si protectie

� Mentinerea proximitatii (cautarea ei si distres la separare)

� “Safe haven”

� “Secure base”

Modele de lucru interne (internal working models)

Atasamentul Mary Ainsworth: stiluri de atasament.

Ex. Ainsworth et al., 1978:

� Securizant (safe) – 60%

� Anxios/ambivalent – 15%

� Anxios/evitant – 25%

� Dezorganizat/dezorientat (Main & Solomon, 1990) –parinti cu tulburari mentale, parinti abuzivi

� Schimbare posibila? Bowlby:

- capacitatea de a reflecta asupra propriilor modele de lucru

- relatii care “corecteaza”

Atasamentul la adultTransferul atasamentului (Hazen & Shaver, 1994)

Parinte Peer

Nou-nascut proximitatesafe havensecure basesecure base

Copilarie timpurie safe haven proximitatesafe base

Copilarie tarzie secure base proximitateAdolescenta timpurie safe haven

Adult proximitatesafe haven secure base

Atasamentul la adult

Legatura de cuplu prototipica (Hazan & Shaver, 1994)

� Atasament

� Grija

� Componenta sexualaComponenta sexuala

Faza initiala (atractie) – mentinerea proximitatii

Relatie stabila – mentinerea proximitatii & safe haven

Angajament pe termen lung – mentinerea proximitatii, safe

haven, secure base

Atasamentul si iubirea romantica

� Prevalenta stilurilor de atasament este aproximativ

aceeasi in perioada adulta ca in copilarie

Ex. Hazan & Shaver (1987)Ex. Hazan & Shaver (1987)

N = 620, chestionar in ziar: 56% securizant; 25% evitant;

19% ambivalent;

N = 108 studenti: 56% securizant, 23 evitant;

20% ambivalent

Hazan & Shaver (1987)

Abordarea psihometrica

Teoria triarhica (Sternberg, 1988)

Componente ale iubirii:

1. Intimitate

Pasiune2. Pasiune

3. Decizie/Angajament

Abordarea psihometrica

Tipuri/stiluri de iubire (Lee, 1973; Hendrick &

Hendrick, 1986: Love attitude scale; LAS)

LAS

� EROS: My partner and I were attracted to each other � EROS: My partner and I were attracted to each other

immediately after we first met

� LUDUS: I try to keep my partner a little uncertain

about my commitment to him/her

� STORGE (PARTENERIAT): It is hard for me to say

exactly when our friendship turned into love.

Tipuri/stiluri de iubire

� PRAGMA: In choosing my partner, I believe it was

best to love someone with a similar background

� MANIA: When my partner does not pay attention to

me, I feel sick all overme, I feel sick all over

� AGAPE: I would rather suffer myself than let my

partner suffer

Abirdarea neuropsihologicaHelen Fisher (2004, 2006) – trei sisteme cerebrale implicate in

iubire: dorinta sexuala, atractie, atasament

� Semnificatie speciala

� Concentrare

� Posesie/Motivatie

� Obsesie – ganduri intruzive

� Craving (tanjire)

Reactii la respingere:

� Protest

� Resemnare/disperare,

Iubirea si stare de bine

� Hendrick & Hendrick (2000): N = 348 studenti

- persoanele indragostite –semnificativ mai fericite

- persoanele aflate intr-o relatie – semnificativ mai fericite

- corelatii pozitive intre fericire si:

(1) iubire pasionala (0.33)

(2) iubire de tip companionate (0.13)

(3) satisfactia in relatie (0.35)

Relatiile romantice in adolescenta

� Joiner & Udry (2000); N = 8181 adolescenti; studiulongitudinal – niveluri mai mari de depresie la cei care se angajau in relatii romantice comparativ cu cei care nu

Predictori ai “succesului”

Predictori ai “succesului”� Gotman et al.(1998) Predicting marital happiness and stability from

newlywed interactions, N= 130 cupluri recent casatorite:

1. Anger as a distructive emotion

2. The “four” horsemen: critica, defensivitate, resentimente(contempt), areactivitate (stonewalling)

3. Negative reciprocity and power (respingerea influentei femeii)

4. How conflict begins (female-demand/male-withdraw)

5. Active listening

6. De-escalation

7. Positive affect

8. Balance (5 interactiuni + la 1 negativa in cuplurile stabile vs. 0.8 la 1 in cuplurile cu probleme)

9. Physiological soothing of the male