case presentation - meg cresterea puterii personale

7/21/2019 Case Presentation - Meg Cresterea Puterii Personale

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Transcription of case presentation with Meg

T - therapy transactionC - client transaction

T Hello, this is Meg's case. What you will see is working with Meg to find her realself, to help her be more powerful in the world, to empower herself and to feel safe

and secure. In this work I work with the internalised introjected parent ego state.What you will see is me, haing an emphasis in safety and security, and taking careof Meg, psychologically, so she can face this particular parent. !ou see me use myfeet to protect her and also the use of permissions so she can e"plore herspontaneity and empower herself in the world today.

Title: Empowerment of the Real Self

T# Hi Meg.

$# Hello.

T% &ood to catch up with you again. mm ... so tell me what you would like tochange today( What hae you brought( What do you want to achiee(

$% mm ... I'e brought today something that umm came up on a course that I wenton last week.

T) *h.

$) Which was a stress management course and umm we did a +uestionnaire wherewe found out areas in our life where we weren't giing ourseles enough time oropportunities, and one that really came up for me was umm leisure and recreationumm and I kind of know this but I ignore it I think, so that what I want to change is

umm ignoring it I think, umm ... and it's ... I don't gie myself permission to hae anyrecreation time, not any's not right, but I don't gie myself permission to haerecreation time or leisure time.

T -o you mean by that ... do you mean by that you don't gie yourself permission toenjoy yourself(

$ !es.

T *r is it anything more specific than that(

$ /o, no, you're right, no you're right, and like an e"ample would be umm een if Idid hae some time to do what I want in it, umm, yeah, I probably don't totally rela" orumm I'll find something ... I'll find something wrong in it or I'll umm ... like if I'm athome and I'e got spare time, I'll go off and do chores or fill that time, like I find itreally difficult to sit down for #0 minutes and I can read a book then I'll be ... I'll punishmyself afterwards so I'll be like, ohh, I could hae done with being doing somethingelse, or ...

T1 2o it's more than just distracting yourself(

$1 !eah 3nods4

T5 2ounds like there's a dialogue in your head ...

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$5 !eah.

T6 7ither subconsciously or consciously ...

$6 !eah.

T8 Which is saying something like this you can't enjoy yourself.

$8 Hmm.

T#0 !ou can't enjoy yourself because if you enjoy yourself what would that mean(

$#0 Hmm ... umm ... if I enjoy myself that would mean ...

T## That ... life is ... finish the sentence off, if I enjoy ... if you enjoy yourself, Meg ...

$## !eah, yeah.

T#% What would that mean for you( !ou can't enjoy yourself because if you do ...

$#% I don't know, yeah, I'm going the other way, I'm going to negatie rather than thepositie. If you do ... if I enjoyed myself then it would just be awful, I'd show peopleup.

T#) Hmm.

$#) I'd umm ... yeah.

T# 9e awful, you'd show people up, and you'd feel ...

$# I'd show myself up.

T# *h you'd show yourself up.

$# I think, yeah, that's probably more what it is, I'd show myself up.

T#1 *kay, show yourself up.

$#1 !eah.

T#5 :nd you'd feel ...

$#5 ;eally rubbish afterwards.

T#6 ;eally rubbish afterwards.

$#6 !es.

T#8 :nd you'd say to yourself something like ...

$#8 There you go, I shouldn't hae enjoyed myself.

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T%0 There you go, I shouldn't hae enjoyed myself.

$%0 Told you so, or you know that kind ...

T%# Told you so.

$%# Hmm 3nods4

T%% 2o what you're identifying in transactional analysis terms is the injunction of don'tenjoy yourself.

$%% Hmm, hmm.

T%) 2o where does that come from( -o you know(

$%) I'm not sure 3sighs4 My first instinct is always to go to my Mum and think aboutthat, but I don't know. I don't know whether it's linked to doing things as well because... I kind of persuade myself to do something, like for e"ample, training to do the #0


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T)# If you allowed yourself to satisfied ...

$)# Hmm ...

T)% With your successes and achieement and enjoy yourself what would thatmean(

$)% That would be being really big headed and being a show off and ...

T)) 2howing yourself.

$)) 3nods4 2howing myself, yeah. That's made me feel ery sad 3gestures towardschest area4 yeah.

T) !ou feel sad(

$) Well I'e got a lot of emotion coming up. !eah, I do feel sad.

T) !ou started to feel sad when you started to think about umm being satisfied andenjoying your successes.

$) !es. !eah.

T)1 :nd then you said if you had hae done that in your childhood you would haebeen told off for being big headed or something like that.

$)1 !eah, probably. I don't een know if I'e been told off, just it would hae beenignored, so ... but then the undercurrent of the feeling's there that that's what ... adecision I would hae made in my head would hae been I'm big headed or I'm ashow off or ...

T)5 -o you want to change this in your life(

$)5 !eah I do, I do.

T)6 !eah.

$)6 I think what I find really hard is sticking to it.

T)8 2ticking to what(

$)8 2ticking to umm ... saying I want to change this and coming up with a plan forchanging it and then sticking to that plan, I stop myself, so that's the ...

T0 2o you stop yourself sticking to the plan because(

$0 mm ...

T# If you do stick with the plan that would mean ...

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$# That would mean I'e been successful I suppose and ... well in my head I wouldthink that, or 3sighs4 hmm ...

T% 2o what was that sadness that you felt a moment ago(

$% /ot allowing myself to rela" I suppose with uhh ... 3sighs4 you know enjoying myleisure time or ... I don't get ... I don't think I get that full umm satisfaction from it likeyou said. My sadness I think umm ... it's from the loss of not doing that 3isibly upset4

T) The loss of not doing that(

$) !eah, for so long. !eah.

T 9ut not a loss of not being satisfied and not ...

$ Hmm.

T *nly your successes and ...

$ !eah.

T1 /ot enjoying yourself.

$1 !eah, yeah.

T5 There's a lot of >not's> there.

$5 There is. !es.

T6 !ou know it' almost like, Meg, when I listen to you, that it's almost like you had tobe someone else.

$6 Hmm.

T8 2ounds like you had to be someone else, is that true, that you couldn't beyourself somehow in your childhood(

$8 !eah, yeah. !eah. !eah.

T0 9ecause if you had been yourself somehow that would hae not beenacceptable or something(

$0 !eah. !eah, I think so. It was kind of dangerous to be me, to be myself.

T# :h, dangerous to be yourself. *kay.

$# !eah, I think that was it. It was a scary place to be.

T% 2cary to be yourself.

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$% !eah. $ause that would hae mean ... yeah, I think that would hae meansuffering to ... as a child it would hae mean I was myself, that would hae been, and

I'd hae suffered for it in my family I guess, so it was easier not to be. Hmm.

T) 2o how many people in your family( !our Mum, and your -ad ...

$) :nd me.

T *h. /o?one else(

$ -ogs and cats 3laughs4 animals, grandparents.

T 2o it's really like if you take the limelight ....

$ !eah.

T1 2omehow that's not acceptable.

$1 !eah.

T5 :nd yet you're an only child.

$5 !eah, yeah.

T6 2o there's a double edge to that.

$6 Hmm.

T8 In a way there's no brothers, no sisters, to take the flack or take the limelight offyou.

$8 /o.

T10 2o in a way you are always in the limelight, and then there's another bit part ofyou which thinks it's dangerous to be.

$10 Hmm.

T1# *r feels it's dangerous to be.

$1# !eah, feels it's dangerous to be.

T1% How did you resole that dilemma(

$1% mm ... I think ... most often than not I hid and then there's other times there aswell where like probably today's a bit of an e"ample where I would hae pushedmyself to do something, een if I'd not wanted to do it, so ... and felt really good aboutit afterwards, and I'e got that sense of achieement, so there's some things that Idefinitely did that kind of ... like I fought with myself to make the decision to go ahead

and do something.

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T1) 2o if you were to take the limelight in this room now ...

$1) 3laughs4

T1 3laughs4 I'm not saying you do.

$1 /o, I know.

T1 9ut, if you did ...

$1 Hmm.

T11 What would you be doing or how would it be or ... what would be different, Imean this is pretty massie, being on a -@- and being filmed, so that's pretty

massie.

$11 !es. !es.

T15 What else would you be doing( *r is that the top(

$15 /o, I don't think it is at the top.

T16 *h.

$16 I don't think it is. mm ... do you mean taking the limelight in a positie way(

T18 !es, in a positie way, not a negatie one.

$18 mm ... well maybe it would be then. I think I was thinking of it as a negatie sothat's where I go to. 3sighs4

T50 Try congratulating yourself only a success of being here, being powerful andpotent.

$50 !es.

T5# 2howing yourself in a positie light.

$5# 3nods4

T5% :llowing to say to yourself that was really good what I did here.

$5% !eah. !eah. 3nods4 Hmm.

T5) ntil you enjoy that e"perience for being yourself.

$5) !es. Hmm. Hmm. I find it hard to stay with that and I want to, if you see what Imean.

T5 Hmm. !ou'e started to hae feelings again. 2aw some feelings there, was that(14:17)

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$5 !eah.

T5 What was happening there then(

$5 I don't know actually. mm ... yeah, just ... felt like crying. mm ... hmm. -on'tknow.

T51 What's it like being here with you and me, as you're talking to me today and thismoment(

$51 It's really nice. I want to be here.

T55 Well you are here.

$56 I know.

T58 :nd you're safe.

$58 !eah.

T60 Aeeling there's +uite a big day, you're doing okay, and I'm glad you're here.

$60 I know.

T6# &lad to see ... I'm glad to see you holding yourself in the way that you are.

$6# !eah. Thank you. Hmm. Hmm.

T6% There's a part of me that, somewhere, back here, and I just want to share it withyou, that wants to say to your Mum or your -ad, I don't know which one, but probablyyour -ad, look here, look at what you missed, how beautiful she is and howintelligent and how ... powerful she is a woman and how well she's done and howwell she's doing in the psychotherapy training and ... look at what you'e missed -ad.

$6% Hmm.

T6) =art of me sort of wants to say that to your -ad.

$6) 3nods4

T6 :nd I think it's because it's a fantasy of mine that that was so impossible for youto say, een if you thought about it.

$6 !eah, yeah. 3nods4 Hmm. Hmm.

T6 2o that part of me that wants to say look -ad, look at what you missed, here'syour beautiful daughter, intelligent, creatie, look at what she's achieed, twobeautiful children.

$6 3nods4

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T61 :nd how about giing her some centre stage for her real self instead of always

occupying it yourself.

$61 !eah 3nods4 !eah, you're right.

T65 To gie her some permission and positiity about who she is.

$65 !eah.

T66 That's what that part of me wants to say.

$66 Hmm.

T68 Is that anywhere near the mark(

$68 !eah. !eah. I felt angry actually when you said ...

T80 :ngry(

$80 !eah. I felt ...

T8# :t me(

$8# /o, at him.

T8% :t him.

$8% Hmm.

T8) Well ...

$8) !eah.

T8 !ou pointed there so I assume he's behind me.

$8 3laughs4 !eah. I felt angry at him.

T8 What ... what would you say to him if he was here(

$8 mm ... look what you'e missed.

T81 Hmm. What has he missed Meg(

$81 I knew you were going to ask me that 3laughs4

T85 -id you(

$85 3laughs4

T86 Is it too big a +uestion for you(

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$86 It's pretty hard.

T88 *kay.

$88 9ut I think he just missed me. He just didn't see me. He ... made me intosomething else that he wanted to see. !eah. mm ... he didn't see me, he didn't seeme for me and what I could do and just lied in his limelight really, lied in his3gesturing with arm4 doing this because it was like his aura.

T#00 His aura, yeah. :nd also it also seems like Meg that you found it hard to ownyour own successes and enjoy your own space.

$#00 !eah.

T#0# 9ecause he's got that limelight there. 2o psychologically do you think that yourfather's somewhere here in ... as you lie your life(

$#0# !eah. !eah. !eah, he must be, and I don't see it ery often at all, point it out. Ireally don't see it. I don't see him at all. I see my Mum all the time but I don't see my-ad at all and it's really ... I just ... yeah ... it's really important what you're saying tome, really hearing that.

T#0% 2o if you did see him, I know you don't ...

$#0% !eah.

T#0) He's like subconsciously in the background, but if he was more isible ...

$#0) Hmm.

T#0 My guess is, this is something I want to throw by you, for you just to take thelimelight, somehow, he'd either hae to go out of the limelight or you would hae totake his place, or you just take your own space and see what happens.

$#0 !eah.

T#0 9ut somehow he's going to hae to go off centre stage a bit.

$#0 Hmm. !eah.

T#01 *r you're going to hae to take it across some sort of negotiations or you're justgoing to take it or stay in the background or something.

$#01 /o. I need him to moe.

T#05 !ou need him to moe. *kay.

$#05 !eah, I need him to go.

T#06 *kay. Well ... what would it be like to bring him in here(

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$#06 *kay.

T#08 To put him on a chair here.

$#08 *kay.

T##0 *kay, well let's ... could you get one of those chairs and what we'll do we'll putthe chair there.

$##0 !eah.

T### :nd just .... just imagine he's sitting in that chair.

$### *kay.

T##% What colour eyes has he got(

$##% hh ... brown I think.

T##) 9rown you think.

$##) 9rown.

T## *kay.

$## !eah.

T## Imagine he was sitting there.

$## !eah.

T##1 Taking the limelight.

$##1 Hmm.

T##5 There's that sigh of yours. How do you feel when he's just sitting there(

$##5 mm ...

T##6 With his brown eyes.

$##6 This is how I feel, I feel silent.

T##8 !ou feel silent when he's there.

$##8 !eah.

T#%0 *kay. 2o you said something ery important Meg, I thought, was ery

important earlier on, when I asked you what needs to happen ...

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$#%0 !eah.

T#%# :ll the options I gae you, you said he would hae to moe.

$#%# ;ight. -id I( *kay.

T#%% It was +uite a powerful statement, I thought that's great, you know.

$#%% !eah.

T#%) 9ut I think you're right.

$#%) !eah.

T#% =sychologically, I think you're right.

$#% !eah.

T#% $ause that's how it was in your history.

$#% !eah.

T#%1 !ou were silent and he had the limelight.

$#%1 3nods4

T#%5 :nd then part of your as a child must hae been yearning somehow for you tobe recognised.

$#%5 I did, I did. That's why I did eerything that he wanted to do.

T#%6 2o there we are, that's the words you said, he would hae to be moed.

$#%6 *kay.

T#%8 /ow the ne"t bit is perhaps a bit more problematic 3laughs4

$#%8 3laughs4

T#)0 Is how he does get moed, you know, we could ask him, he might decide to gohimself, umm ....

$#)0 He might, he might.

T#)# It's a bit like how you turn down that radio in your head, how you turn down thatisual screen, so that you can be more centre stage.

$#)# Hmm.

T#)% Is the +uestion really.

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$#)% !eah. It's really hard when I don't really notice him there anywhere, so that's+uite hard, being aware of him in the first instance.

T#)) *kay, so lets get aware of him.

$#)) I'm ery aware of him.

T#) *h you are aware of him.

$#) !eah, he's well sitting there.

T#) Is he too near you or do you need to go back ... does he need to go back(

$#) /o, he's okay.

T#)1 *kay.

$#)1 9ut he's definitely sitting there.

T#)5 :nd is he ... do you want him farther away ... I mean I can always moe him ifyou wanted me to.

$#)5 hh ... no, he's alright there but he's definitely there.

T#)6 2o it sounds like what you do, so he hasn't got such a big presence, is youmake him inisible, but he's a bit like you know the inisible man, he's still there.

$#)6 !eah, yeah, but I ... yeah.

T#)8 !ou sort of make him inisible a bit.

$#)8 !eah.

T#0 :nd he's always there.

$#0 9ut he's always there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

T## I was wondering if you need to make some sort of (4:1).... you made onedecision to protect yourself which is to keep you silent, because a little girl taking ona bit presence like that, it would make sense to be silent. The +uestion I think I wantto ask you really is do you want to keep to that decision for the rest of your life(

$## /o, no. /o. 9ut I'm scared and I'm scared. /o I don't.

T#% *kay, what you scared of(

$#% hh ... repercussions.

T#) What are the ...

$#) 2ounds bonkers cause he's dead anyway but ...

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T# Well, yeah, but he's not in your head.

$# /o. mm ...

T# 2o, as a child, what would be the repercussions hae been if you were moreisible(

$# hh ... that he would probably walk away.

T#1 He'd walk away and leae you(

$#1 !es.

T#5 *r recognise you.

$#5 !eah. !eah he'd ... yeah, yeah, something like that, or he'd get angry.

T#6 :nd do what, shout at you(

$#6 mm ... yes.

T#8 :nything else or is that the way ...

$#8 mm ... yeah. He did hit me at home when I was like young and getting in hisway and annoying him so maybe ... he was a ery big presence. I can't +uite

describe ... I was really scared of him. I didn't want to cross him in any way.

T#0 *kay.

$#0 mm ... and he an e"plosie kind of ...

T## :ura about him.

$## :nger ... yeah, yeah, yeah. He was ery ery laid back but then would hae aery e"plosie side to him.

T#% 2o, as you're sitting there and how he is and you'e still got the decision to besilent, I was thinking in terms of protection for you particularly cause we can continuethis work in the group, in the psychotherapy group.

$#% !es.

T#) 9ut here umm ... I can think of some way where you could change that decisionto be a little bit more physical or turn down his aura in some way.

$#) I do want to make that decision. It's weird actually, just a minute ago hechanged, I don't know whether it's a ... I don't feel the same about him sitting there.

T# Tell me what you feel then and how he's changed(

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$# mm ... hmm ... it's like I'e be ... I don't know, it's like I'e become bigger thanhim or ...

T# !ou'e become a little bigger than him. What's happened to him(

$# He's gone ery +uiet.

T#1 He's gone +uiet so it's a bit of a reersal of roles.

$#1 !eah 3laughs4 !eah. I don't feel ery comfortable with it but I feel ery calm, Ifeel like ...

T#5 *kay, okay, well that's great in itself.

$#5 Hmm.

T#6 That you'e become calmer, a little bit bigger, and he's gone down a bit.

$#6 !eah. Hmm.

T#8 Well, before we sort of umm ask him to leae, is there anything else you wantto say to him(

$#8 !eah. 3sighs4

T#10 That's a big sigh there. -oes that mean ...

$#10 I think it's getting the guts up to say something.

T#1# -o you ... you don't hae to ...

$#1# :ctually I want to tell him to just butt out, I want him to tell him to stop ... justleae me alone.

T#1% *kay, you want to say that to tell him ...

$#1% I do, I want you to leae me alone and let me just get on.

T#1) *kay. 2o is he still staying small when you tell him that, are you still feelingcalm(

$#1) /ot so much.

T#1 *kay, what's happening to him(

$#1 mm ... I don't know. I feel +uite small all of a sudden so ...

T#1 Has he got bigger(

$#1 Maybe.

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T#11 *kay. Well I'm still here and uhh if he's going to stay there ...

$#11 !eah.

T#15 He's not going to go any further.

$#15 !eah.

T#16 What I found interesting though Meg was that for a moment you went smallerand you ...

$#16 !es, I did.

T#18 !ou became calmer.

$#18 !es.

T#50 2o I wonder that what we can do in the psychotherapy group on Tuesday ...

$#50 !es.

T#5# Is take that a bit further.

$#5# !eah, I'd really like to.

T#5% 9ecause I'm +uite aware of you said what the repercussions would be.

$#5% !eah.

T#5) If you you know started to hae a more powerful dialogue with him and I thinkthis psychotherapy is a process and need to make sure this is done in a umm ... aprocess way. Howeer I thought that was ery significant, that change.

$#5) I really ... I really felt it. I'e not felt it like that before.

T#5 Hmm.

$#5 I really felt it.

T#5 :nd what was great afterwards you said that he went smaller and you got a bitbigger.

$#5 !eah, that's what I felt, I really felt. I felt like I was sitting up more in my chair orsomething.

T#51 *kay.

$#51 I did, yeah.

T#55 *kay, you stay with that image.

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$#55 I will.

T#56 !eah, we'll take him away a moment.

$#56 3sighs4

T#58 If you could just moe him away. Take him off that chair.

$#58 !eah. I will.

T#60 If you could moe it Mark or someone.

$#60 He's gone, it's alright.

T#6# He's gone. Bets moe the chair anyway.

$#6# Hmm.

T#6% He's gone and tomorrow we'll bring him back.

$#6% !eah.

T#6) 9ut he's gone down perhaps in ...

$#6) !eah.

T#6 2ome of his power maybe a little bit.

$#6 !eah.

T#6 :s well as he's gone there.

$#6 !eah. I'm +uite umm surprised at how I felt then.

T#61 !eah, you said you felt calm and he decreased in siCe a bit.

$#61 !eah, yeah.

T#65 !ou look calmer. !ou looked then, you know, that moment, you looked calmerwhen you said it.

$#65 Wow. Hmm. 3sighs4 Hmm.

T#66 2o well done in that.

$#66 Thank you.

T#68 /ow, are you able to celebrate that success that you were able to feel calmer inhis presence(

$#68 !eah, yeah, yes.

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T#80 !eah(

$#80 !eah.

T#8# 9ecause howeer that happened, I thought that was +uite a psychologicalachieement.

$#8# !eah. !eah. I'e ... I'm a bit stuck for words now but I really feel that too.

T#8% !eah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

$#8% !eah, it was +uite profound actually.

T#8) I know, it seemed it, yeah, it seemed it to me.

$#8) 2o, yeah, it is a big achieement because I'e not ... I'e neer done thatbefore with him.

T#8 /o you haen't, no.

$#8 2o I know that.

T#8 :nd I think you did it as you allowed ... this is my fantasy ... as you made youhim more real.

$#8 !eah.

T#81 It seemed that in the realness umm somehow you allowed yourself to be morepowerful for a moment.

$#81 Hmm.

T#85 Its shifted back but somehow ... as you made him more real for yourself.

$#85 Hmm.

T#86 !ou were able to be a bit more powerful.

$#86 !eah.

T#88 2ee perhaps a little bit in a different way.

$#88 !eah. It was a really good feeling. It was really different.

T%00 What did it feel like(

$%00 3laughs4 It just felt really good. I just felt like me actually.

T%0# Aelt like you, great.

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$%0# =owerful. !eah I did.

T%0% :nd where in your body did it feel like you(

$%0% Here.

T%0) In your core ...

$%0) Here. /o a bit high ... here, right here, 3pointing to chest4

T%0 The core, the core of you.

$%0 The core, yes, yeah.

T%0 What a powerful feeling.

$%0 !eah it was.

T%01 In your core.

$%01 Hmm.

T%05 !ou felt your power more.

$%05 !eah I did. I really did.

T%06 Hmm.

$%06 Hmm. Wow.

T%08 Wow. : lot of good things to take into the psychotherapy group on Tuesday.

$%08 It will, yeah, it ... yeah.

T%#0 !our powerfulness.

$%#0 !eah, yeah.

T%## Hmm.

$%## !eah.

T%#% It's really good to see you owning that and talking about yourself in this way.

$%#% Hmm. Thank you.

T%#) !ou're welcome and umm ... I look forward to meeting more of your ... andmore of your powerfulness.

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$%#) 3laughs4 !eah.

T%# In this work

$%# I'd like to, yeah.

T%# *kay, well congratulations.

$%# Thank you.

T%#1 Thank you.

$%#1 Thank you.

T%#5 Well done.

$%#5 Thank you.

Title: !nalysis - "#$ T# $#R% $&T" T"E &'TR#ECTE *!RE'T E+#ST!TE: The creation of a protecte, enironment

T%#6 I'd like to just talk about two really important pieces of theory here and umm thebit I want to talk about, which was such a ... eocatie for me, is something soimportant, is the whole uhh issue of protection in this piece of work specifically,umm ... so protection here, especially with the father, and how she's going to betalking to somebody who's so powerful in her life, and the things that she was talking

about, in terms of her father would go away, or a father that might get angry, and herresponse as a child was to feel so silent and here I had a dilemma. How does shestart to own her power bit, a bit more, just a little bit more, and be maybe for the firsttime in the limelight in a way she could feel safe, own her successes, how does shedo that in the face of this omnipotent presence( /ow the way I took that piece ofwork was to put protection first. What do people think about that( -id people noticehow I was doing this work in a protectie way, for e"ample, I didn't een get her todialogue with him. I didn't get him to be her. I didn't een ask her to go into any sortof increased contact with him. What I did was I asked her to be aware of how she feltand I concentrated particularly on the moment when she changed, I beliee, egostates or certainly across the child ego states when she said she was calm. The

wrong way to hae done that therapy in terms of it being unprotectie anyway, or thepotential of unprotectieness, would hae been to ask her to either play him or be indialogue with him. -o people want to say anything about that in terms of what youobsered because that was the theme I took with that work, to hear unprotection.

$%#6 I notice that you asked her I think three times was he far enough away.

T%#8 !es, was he far enough away.

$%#8 :t the same time she said yeah I think he's fine and you kept asking.

T%%0 $ause you know I didn't beliee her.

$%%0 !eah, I wondered.

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T%%# 2ee when she was here, the chair was there, I didn't beliee her, well I sort of

belieed her, but I wondered if it was her fantasy of the father's conte"t she yearnedfor. I e"pected her to hae the father further back which is why I kept asking so, inthat moment, in my head, I thought do I go and moe that chair. I decided not tobecause this work is about increasing her power, not his or me doing it for her, butthere's a part in that work where I though shall I do this for her.

$%%# Hmm.

T%%% There's the options in psychotherapy.

$%%% Hmm.

T%%) I chose to stay as much as I could to allow her to take the power, so I was erypleased, if that's the word, of the positiity of when she changed ego states and feltcalmer. 7en though it was only for three minutes it was so significant that she wasbeing real. The father went smaller. What a profound moment in psychotherapy. Itlasted about two minutes but it was so profound. =rotection was always in my head.I felt it. I felt ... I think I felt a scare and an emotional state. I always wanted toreassure her though and, in fact, I don't know if many of you people noticed, thatwhen you put a chair there, I put my feet out like that, so we had a situation of thefather there, her there, and my feet there 3laughs4 so we had a situationpsychologically where I was increasing safety I hoped.

$%%) I was ery aware that you were in ... in the ... in the frame if you know what I

mean. I was ery aware that you were there. It was ... yes ... it was ery erysecure.

T%% :nd in fact earlier on in the piece of work, when you pointed to your fatherbehind me, I said do you mean him there. I didn't say it ... I said it erbally to myselfbut I hope she heard it. He would hae to get through me to get to you so when youbrought the chair and put it there, I was so pleased because I could coer my feet up.

$%% I think you started that whole process off by introducing the father as beingback here.

T%% !es.

$%% !ou introduced that ...

T%%1 I introduce ... on purpose. That's right.

$%%1 Is he behind you.

T%%5 !eah. 9ecause that's want I wanted. I wanted me to be the safe other for herto allow herself, maybe for the first time, to take some power of her true self, een ifit's only a minute.

$%%5 To stop his limelight.

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T%%6 !eah, because what was her answer to the +uestion, she said, regarding thefather, she said he would hae to moe.

$%%6 Hmm.

T%%8 2he didn't say who would moe him, how he would get moed. In the end,what she did, was made him smaller. How creatie.

$%%8 Hmm.

T%)0 2o protection was the major issue with this piece of work. It wasn't about goingthrough some impasse, talking to the father in dialogue about being the father, aboutthe father responding back, too much clinical risk there. It was about giing her timeand space, maybe through the safety, through me, I hoped, to take some power and

it happened, almost by magic, but it wasn't magic. It was Meg.

Title: "ow ,o yo. ma/e the ,ecision to 0ring a parent into the room

T%)# I'e probably worked with Meg for about a year and a half I think and I broughther father in three times so when we did this work here I had had the adantage ofbringing her in already, okay, so the things you're going to be thinking about whenyou bring a parent in is #4 are you going to meet an abusie parent, are you going tomeet a craCy parent, are you somehow by bringing the parent in going to repeathistory, is it going to be an opposite of a protected piece of work but unprotectedpiece of work. /ow I brought the father in three times so I knew he wasn't craCy, hewas just how Meg described in some ways, wanted to hae the limelight, the fear of

going away, and maybe some e"plosion, howeer I knew that for Meg he was a eryomnipotent presence, yeah, you with me, but I felt through knowing him before thathe would be safe enough for me to talk to or at least hae that, as long as we hadsome protection through me. The unsafe bit would be, I think, if we'd hae increaseddialogue, gone into role play, and somehow asking her to re?isit the parent. Thatneeds to come later in the therapy, so this is the first step really, not to hae himtalking, just hae him there, in an awareness process, and also haing me, so I cantake on the parent if there is a process where, you know, she gets too scared orsomething clinically.

Title: $o.l, yo. eer 0ring in an a0.sie parent

T%)% I'm not going to do a parent interiew with a craCy parent and not with anabusie parent either. In fact, you don't really do parent work like bringing them andtalking to them for a good year into psychotherapy. This was the third time and onlyin a ery symbolic way really.

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case presentation - meg cresterea puterii personale

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